Love's Remedy
by MandaLou
Summary: This story picks up immediately after the conclusion of 'The Inevitable'. How will Jack and Harper handle their situation? Will their attraction for each other be enough? Jack McCoy & OC-Harper VanMeter centric. Rated M for Chapter 5 only, otherwise T.
1. Chapter 1

Standard Disclaimer: With the exception of Harper VanMeter: I don't own 'em, I just love 'em!

A/N: Hope this doesn't dissapoint! As always reviews are welcome!

* * *

**_"There is no remedy for love but to love more."_**

**_-Henry David Thoreau, Journals, 1839_**

Love's Remedy

ADA Harper Van Meter's cell phone rang incessantly. She reluctantly turned from the warmth of Jack's body and reached for it on her bedside table. Jack McCoy, _DA_ Jack McCoy, her boss. After weeks of attraction and flirtation they'd finally succumbed to their feelings for one another.

Harper groaned as she flipped the phone open. "Hello?" Her voice was gruff with sleep, even though she felt more rested than she had in a long time. "Morning, Connie. What time is it?" Harper sat up, threw her legs over the side and looked at her alarm clock. It was almost 11:00. "Yeah, I guess I was catching up on some sleep. Yeah, Jack came by and told me last night," she glanced over her shoulder at him. He tucked his now free arm behind his head holding her gaze. "They left last night… free at last." She felt Jack move closer behind her. His hand lingered down her spine causing her breath to catch in her throat. "Tonight? Yeah, let's do that. How about 7? OK, see you then."

She closed the phone and turned sideways to face Jack. Jack propped himself up on his elbow. Neither said anything. Each quietly assessed the situation.

Jack was caught off guard by her loveliness. Her make-up was all but gone, her hair slightly mussed from sleep, her skin smooth and flawless with a hint of summer tan still left. Again she didn't bother to cover herself. He reached out and touched the strands of hair dangling in front of her breast. "_You _are breathtaking," he sighed. Her cheeks turned the most amazing shade of pink. In spite of the joy he felt, he had an awful sense of foreboding in the pit of his stomach.

"Thank you," she whispered. Likewise, she was in awe of him. His eyes were a little puffy from sleep and his face was scruffy and needed a shave. Despite this, his disheveled hair and smirk reminded her more of a little boy rather than the grown man he was. She liked the way he looked in her bed. "Connie and I are having dinner tonight, some drinks afterwards." She mustered her courage, not knowing how he'd react. "Would you like to join us?"

He smiled a half smile. "Ooh, I'd better not. 'Girl's Night' is best left to the girls."

Harper watched as the look on Jack's face changed. He turned onto his back, rubbed his stubbled jaw, and let out a burdened sigh.

"Where'd you go?" she smiled lightly. She took his hand, kissed his palm, and nuzzled it. She tried to pull him back, to push away any imminent problems they might be facing. "Come back to me."

Jack was not responsive.

"Don't do this." She reached for a pillow, pulled it close to her chest covering herself. "Can't we just enjoy this a little longer? Is that too much to ask?" Her stomach knotted nervously.

"Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away, Harper."

"But dwelling on it doesn't solve anything either, Jack. And," she tossed the pillow at him as she got up from the bed, "more importantly it ruins my mood."

Jack laughed sarcastically. "Well I'm sorry to ruin your mood, counselor."

She put on her robe and shot him a disapproving sideways glance as she walked out of the room.

Jack exhaled heavily and tossed the pillow aside. "Damn…." He could have handled that better. He shouldn't have to _handle_ it at all. He knew better. He knew last night when he decide to come over instead of calling. Why didn't he just call? Then he could have continued to distance himself from her. Things would have been awkward at first, nonetheless eventually they'd go back to they way things had been. Boss, subordinate, colleague, even friend maybe, but that's it. Now, after last night, that would be near impossible.

Harper reentered the room. She had a toothbrush in her mouth and the look in her eyes told Jack he was not in the clear. "Here." She tossed a new toothbrush still in the package onto the bed. "There's coffee in the kitchen, if you want it." She left.

A couple of minutes later he heard the shower start. His first instinct was to leave. Get dressed and get out of there as quickly as possible. He couldn't do that though, he didn't want to hurt her. He would have to make it clear that this couldn't continue, not that it was a mistake, but it just couldn't continue. He needed to do it in the least hurtful way possible. If that existed.

Jack entered the steamy bathroom. "Will the sink running mess with your shower? I know how these old buildings can be."

"No, go ahead," she answered from behind the pastel paisley shower curtain.

He finished brushing and started to exit. The tiny bathroom was filled with the smell of her shampoo. He shook his head. Jack McCoy, a glutton for punishment. He slid his jeans off and pulled back the shower curtain as he stepped into the tub. Her eyes were closed and she was rinsing the suds from her hair. Jack laughed at himself, at his constant surprise in her beauty.

Harper sensed Jack the second he entered the shower. She resisted the urge to look at him, knowing her resolve would be washed away as easily as the shampoo in her hair the second she did. She _wanted_ to be mad at him.

Harper felt him watching her. Despite her anger she took great pleasure in it. His eyes scrutinizing every inch of her body, every move she made. She would never have described herself as an exhibitionist, but at this moment she completely understood the appeal. She opened her eyes and stepped out from under stream of the shower. She didn't say anything, she just reached for the conditioner and stepped out of his way as he moved for the water.

He rinsed himself as she conditioned her hair. "I don't want to fight with you, Harper."

She studied him seriously for a moment. She felt her determination melting away. Taking a couple of steps closer she took his hands and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Then don't."

With Harper's body pressed against his Jack struggled to maintain his train of thought. "Before last night this was a difficult situation, but now…" He sighed.

Deflated, she broke their embrace and began to rinse her hair. Her heart was pounding in her chest. She didn't want to have this argument, but she didn't want to face the likelihood of his regret either.

"It's complicated, Harper."

"No, Jack!" the volume of her voice raised. "It's actually not that complicated at all. _I _happen to think that this is something worth exploring. I'm not naïve. I know it won't be the easiest relationship we've ever had, but at the risk of sounding corny, most things worth having aren't easy. So, either you want to do this or not. The rest is just background noise."

Jack rarely found himself at a lose for words, but now at the most inopportune time he was speechless. He did think this was something worth exploring. Harper was right, the obstacles were just background noise. Unfortunately, his analytical mind couldn't get past all the hurdles; their age difference, her future at the DA's office, his position as District Attorney. As much as he wanted it he just didn't see how it could work.

Harper felt like she'd been hit with a ton of bricks. He wasn't saying anything. He just looked at her with what she could only assume was regret. She felt like such a fool. "Oh…." was all she could manage. She chuckled lightly, if she didn't laugh she'd cry and she'd be damned if she cried in front of him. She stepped out of the shower with out a word and left the room.

And so it begins, he thought. He'd hurt her. He hadn't intended to, but he did. "Inevitable…."

* * *

When he came back into the bedroom Harper was dressed and sorting through dirty laundry. Jack, wrapped in a towel, sat on the edge of the bed. "Doing laundry?"

She nodded. "That's what God created Saturdays for." She smiled a half-hearted smile.

"Do you have to go far? Or does the building have one?"

"It's downstairs."

He got up and started dressing. "Good," his voice was earnest and matter-of-fact. "The apartment I rented for years didn't have one. I lugged it back for to the laundry mat for years until I gave up and started having it sent out." He chuckled trying to release some of the tension in the room. Jack looked up. Harper had stopped sorting and was staring at him with a blank look on her face.

"Seriously? Are you _seriously_ talking to me about your laundry right now?"

Jack threw his hands up in defeat. He knew she was right. But he also knew there was no way they'd be able to have a logical conversation at this point. Not after last night.

He left a few minutes later with very little said and nothing resolved.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm so _not_ fluent in Spanish, so if there are any mistakes in the Spanish below, forgive me. And if it says something crazy like 'The hot dog dances yellow house." Let me know! ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 2

Connie and Harper started their night at The Convent, a martini bar in Murray Hill. They didn't usually frequent such trendy nightclubs, but it was exactly what they were looking for to start the night. The bar, dimly lit with a constant pulsing backbeat, was decorated with ornate sculptures, wooden crosses, and candles much more reminiscent of a Catholic Church than a fashionable hot spot. The walls were draped with black and red georgette and other fabrics. The first time Harper came here she immediately thought of Dracula's castle.

Both Harper and Connie ordered martinis, of course. Watermelon for Harper and apple for Connie. Harper surveyed the room. Her mood certainly wasn't one for bar hopping, unfortunately she'd already made plans with Connie and she knew if she cancelled she'd just sit around her apartment alternating between moping and being pissed. She'd tried all night to be a good companion and not let Connie in on her foul mood.

Once they were on their second martinis Connie decided to broach the obvious. "So," she began, "what is up with you?"

She tried, but evidentially failed. "What do you mean?"

"You should be over the moon! Jimmy DiCillo is out of the picture for a very long time, your protection detail is gone for good, and pretty soon you'll be back on your regular case rotation."

"I'm very happy." She took a big gulp of her watermelon flavored drink.

Connie looked at her solemnly, "Harper… talk."

Girlfriends, she thought, you can't hide anything from them. "No, I don't want to bring the evening down." Connie didn't waver and Harper sighed. "I met someone, awhile ago and… he's great. He just confuses the hell out me, you know? One minute I think he's into me, the next he's not, then he is again." Harper smiled and shook her head. "We slept together last night. And it was… amazing, but now this morning it's like he thinks it was a mistake."

"Did he say that?"

"No," Harper groaned. "He didn't say anything. Well, no, scratch that. He talked about his laundry, which by the way in case you were wondering he has sent out." She looked at Connie incredulously.

Connie laughed. "OK, first of all, back up: 'He's great', 'It was amazing', I need details." Connie's smile was devilish.

Harper blushed and took another drink her martini.

"Don't give me that. You're the only one of us getting any, so you've got to give up the goods!"

"Like what?!" Harper's squeal reminded her of her teenage days. She couldn't believe she was having this conversation.

Connie narrowed her eyes and she thought intently on the question. "Alright, you said it was _amazing_. How many orgasms did you have?" Harper gaped at her. "Facts, Harper. Facts are necessary for me to give you accurate advice on the man in question_. This _would be an important fact." Again a devilish grin swept across her face.

Harper was mortified. If it hadn't have been for the glass of wine at dinner and her two martinis she never would have dreamed of answering. Too embarrassed she couldn't bring herself to say the number out loud. She simply and shyly held up her hand and wiggled five fingers.

Connie laughed. Harper's resolute look stopped it immediately. "Seriously? Five times?!"

Harper blushed, nodded and tried her damnedest not to giggle like a school girl.

"Well, you've just got to set him straight, because _he _is keeper!" Connie laughed and raised her glass. The two women toasted and laughed frivolously. "So, tell me about him. Who is he? What does he do?" She waited expectantly.

Harper cringed. She knew she shouldn't have said anything. She skillfully avoided answering Connie's questions. Though Connie didn't like her reply she respectfully complied with Harper's request to keep that to herself - for now.

After leaving The Covent, Harper and Connie decided on Wilder's, a classic bar with a small dance floor. It was definitely more their speed. Connie and Harper had regressed from fruity martinis to beers - also more their speed. They found a booth out of the way, only getting up for drinks, and the occasional dance.

"It's… it's not Mike, is it?" Connie asked out of the blue. Her face's seriousness saying more than she wished.

Harper was caught off guard. She reached across the table and took her hand, "I wouldn't do that."

Both women, while not trashed, were more than a little tipsy.

Connie chuckled dismissively. "I don't care if it is… I just, you know… wondered."

Harper knew better. "Where is Mike tonight?"

Connie shrugged, giving her a 'Why should I know?' look.

"Doesn't he live in this neighborhood? You should call him, invite him over." Connie was, again, dismissive to the idea, so Harper took action. She reached across the table and picked up Connie's blackberry. "OK, then. I'll call him." She smiled teasingly as Connie snatched it from her hand.

"Fine." Connie started to dial Mike's number, secretly delighted.

She hung up as Harper was coming back from the ladies' room . Harper looked at her expectantly. "Well?"

"He'll be here soon." Connie smiled openly, as did Harper. "Shut up," she rolled her eyes. "He was just finishing dinner with Jack, actually."

Harper's breath caught at the mention of his name. "Jack?"

"Yeah," Connie looked at her sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind, I invited him, too. It seemed rude not to."

Harper was dumbfounded. "Of course not." She took a swig of her beer. Karma, she thought.

Twenty minutes later Jack and Mike walked into the warmth of Wilder's. They scanned the semi-crowded bar for Connie and Harper, finding Connie in the corner booth as promised. Jack, unsure as to why he accepted the invitation, felt nervous. He'd spent all day pondering on his and Harper's situation. All day and he was no closer to a solution than he was this morning.

When Harper returned with another pitcher of beer Mike and Connie were seated on one side of the booth leaving her to sit next to Jack. Karma, she thought again. She slid into the booth next to Jack. His smell and the warmth of his body coupled with her slightly inebriated state effected her more than she'd anticipated.

The conversation began to flow. Mike told a story. Something comical about a case he tried in Narcotics. Harper couldn't concentrate. She felt disoriented by Jack's presence. She was jolted back to the table by everyone laughing at Mike's story. Her lack of interest was noticed by all. She smiled nervously. When Mike excused himself to men's room the table fell silent. She hoped she hadn't offended him.

Connie sighed. "Don't mind Harper, Jack. Her new boyfriend's giving her fits," she giggled lightly.

"Connie." Harper blushed. She looked over at Jack, looking away in embarrassment. "I didn't… I didn't say he was my boyfriend."

"OK, he's not your boyfriend, but either way, there's no way five orgasms is a mistake." Connie looked at Jack, "He thinks it was a mistake."

"¡Aye, Dios mio, Connie! Eres bebida. ¡Cállate!

"What?" Her tone was that of a teenager caught in a fib. Harper shot at her as realization spread over Connie's face. She looked at Jack sheepishly and whispered, "Did I say that out loud?"

He smiled with his eyebrows raised and nodded sympathetically.

Connie turned to Harper, both women had mortification written all over there faces. "I'm so sorry," she chuckled lightly.

Jack, more than a little shaken by the comments, sought quickly to change the subject. He looked skeptically at Harper, "You speak Spanish?"

Harper could feel the warmth of her blushing cheeks. She reluctantly looked at Jack and nodded.

"Who speaks Spanish? Connie?" Mike interrupted as he slipped back into his seat.

"No, Harper…" Jack said with an amused grin.

"My grandfather made sure we were all fluent." Their looks told her more explaining was necessary. She told them about her grandfather, Ignacio. Her mother's father, whom she affectionately referred to as 'Abuelito'. He was a first generation Mexican-American, born in San Antonio in 1921 just 10 days after his parents hitchhiked their way north from Coahuila.

"Pardon me for saying so, but you don't look Mexican." Mike added as he took a drink of his beer.

"Yeah, well it's just a quarter, I guess the five-eighths white girl overpowered it."

They laughed. "What kind of white girl would that be?" Jack asked. His interest baffled her.

"My father's people are German and Irish. One side came to Texas from Pennsylvania in the early 1800's. My Dad's parents came from Oklahoma during the Depression looking for work. My great-grandparents went to Oklahoma right off the boat, for the Land Run."

Jack was impressed. Harper seemed to take such pride in her family's history. "And the remaining eighth?"

Harper looked at him intently. After this morning she couldn't understand why he would care. "Native American, Comanche." Harper, broke their stare, smiling at Connie and Mike. "I am the face of the American melting pot," she chuckled lightly. Her mind continued to reel. She needed to get away from the table, to breath. With ulterior motives she asked Mike to dance. "But I must warn you," she said to him, but looking at Connie with a sinister smile, "Dancing makes me _awfully_ chatty."

Connie's eye got wide.

Jack chuckled, planted his elbows on the table, and rested his face in his palm. "Don't looked so worried Connie."

________

Harper clung to Mike as they swayed on the dance floor to the Dire Straits' "Romeo and Juliet."

"You're not a bad dancer, Mike."

"You act surprised," his voice laced with pretend offense. They both laughed as the song continued playing.

"Are you seeing anyone, Mike?" He tried to keep his composure, but the panic in his eyes was unmistakable.

"N-No, not, not at the moment."

Harper chuckled, "Relax, Mike. It wasn't an invitation. It was just a request for information."

"Why?" He scowled at her skeptically.

"Just wondering," she shrugged. "You know, funny thing, Connie isn't seeing anyone either."

Mike stiffened and sighed. He started to tell her it would never work. That they're working relationship was too important. Unfortunately, the idea had entered his thoughts on more than one occasion. Connie was everything he'd ever wanted in a woman. Beauty and brains as that juror had said. He told himself it wasn't proper because of their working relationship, but he knew he didn't stand a chance with a knock-out like Connie. He scowled at Harper again. "What is this? You playing Cupid?"

Harper shrugged.

"She's out of my league. She's The Big Show and I'm… "

"You're what?" Harper interrupted with a chuckle, "Double-A? Funny thing about "leagues" Mike, people usually tend to rank themselves below where they should be."

___________

Connie tried not to stare at Mike and Harper on the dance floor. She was fighting a losing battle. She couldn't keep her eyes off of them. She nibbled nervously on her thumbnail.

"You're going to draw blood soon if you don't stop."

She looked at Jack anxiously. "You don't think she'd say anything too bad… do you?"

"Harper's not spiteful."

Connie nodded trying to reassure herself.

"Or at least you better hope she's not," he smiled.

Connie groaned. "Jack, quick! Go cut in."

"What?"

"You heard me. Go cut in. More than half the song's still left, who knows what could be said."

Jack laughed out loud. "Connie, what are you so worried about?"

Of course she couldn't tell him. "Please, Jack."

_____________

"Do you mind Mike?" Jack asked with a smile.

Mike turned his dance partner over to Jack without question. He was eager to return to the table and it's soul inhabitant.

Harper's insides turned. For a few minutes she was actually able to get her mind off of Jack. Now here he was and worse yet, she glided effortlessly into his arms causing chills to run up her spine.

"I hope you don't mind. Connie was about to resort to autocannibalism soon if I didn't come and interrupt." He smiled down at her. She couldn't help but laugh at the image he'd conjured. He loved the way she felt in his arms, like she was made for them.

"Had her nervous, did I?"

"You certainly did." He paused and evaluated the situation. He decided to take a page from Harper's book and make like of the whole thing. Jack pulled back and looked Harper in the eyes, a smirk affixed to his face, "Five times, huh?"

Harper laughed incredulously as a warm blush spread across her face. "Shut up…."

They swayed in silence. Their breath and heartbeat the only sounds between them.

"I never thought it was a mistake, Harper. Not once."

Harper looked up at him in shock. His eyes overflowed with sincerity and told her all she needed to know. Her head began to swim with the possibilities. Possibilities she'd written off, but now, in this moment those possibilities seemed endless. "You didn't?" She sounded so meek to herself.

For once Jack let go and let himself say exactly what was on his mind. "I don't know how this can work Harper, but I want it to. It won't be easy. I.. I don't want you to get hurt."

Harper's heart broke and exalted all at the same time. She looked up at him with a big smile. "You've got it bad for me, don't you McCoy?"

He smiled her favorite smile, one that touched his eyes, "Yes, I do."

Her teasing smile turned shy and sincere. "Good. I kind of like you, too."

They danced for a little while longer, reveling in one another's presence. Finally, Jack asked Harper if she'd like to go. She nodded thankful that their spat seemed to be over.

They strode over to the booth where Mike and Connie sat enjoying their conversation. Harper noticed they were sitting a little closer than they had been and hoped she'd gotten through to Mike earlier.

Jack grabbed their coats and handed Harper her bag. Mike and Connie looked up at them questioningly. "We're going to go." He helped Harper with her coat.

"OK…" Connie said not even attempting to hide her confusion. "Talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

Then Jack took Harper's hand into his. It was warm and soft and in that moment she felt completely whole.

"Harper…" Connie called after her in a loud whisper. Harper turned to Connie. Connie held up five fingers and silently mouthed, "Five times?"

Harper blushed, rolled her eyes, and waved goodbye.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The sounds of the city wafted through the window of Harper's bedroom stirring her from a restful slumber. As was her morning ritual before opening her eyes she mentally uttered a single, one line prayer. _Lord, Give me grace. _It was something she began doing in college after moving to the city, a coping mechanism of sorts. Whatever you want to call it, it always made her feel better and ready to face the day.

She stretched. It felt so good she couldn't help but smile. Her smile quickly turned into a scowl as her thoughts turned to her morning run. Over the last month and a half her morning routine had been greatly hindered by her reluctance to leave the warmth of her sleeping partner. Harper turned and looked at Jack, sleeping soundly on his stomach next to her. Her heart nearly burst every time she looked at him. She felt so lucky to have him in her life. Unenthusiastically she slid from between the sheets. The cold floor was a shock to her warm feet. She turned knowing how easily she could climb back into the cozy bed, leaning in she lightly brushed Jack's temple with her lips.

"Where are you going?" Jack asked sleepily as he grabbed her hand and tugged pulling her back to the mattress.

Harper groaned. "I'm going running."

"Running? Don't go," his voice was raspy and more persuasive than he could ever imagine. "Stay. We've got," he leaned up to look at the alarm clock, "another hour before we have to get up." He nuzzled into her neck, "Stay."

Harper's resolve began to soften. "I can't. It's Wednesday and I haven't ran once this week. I need to go, my ass is getting bigger by the second." She kissed him fully on the lips and pushed herself from the bed.

Jack grinned crookedly and eyed Harper as she changed into her workout clothes. "Looks good to me."

Harper let out a throaty laugh. "You're the devil. You know that, right?"

"Yep, El Diablo, that's me." he said dryly as he rolled over and pulled the covers over his head.

* * *

Jack McCoy sat at his desk going through the pile of pink message slips between the kick-off of his campaign and the usual frenzy of One Hogan Place it seemed they were never-ending these days. When he took the position of District Attorney he'd bargained on things changing. It was time for a change, but the constant borage of people needing him for this, wanting him for that, definitely took some getting used to. He didn't loath is as much as he thought he would, but he didn't love it either. A knock on his door temporarily saved him from deciding who's call to return first.

"Tracy," Jack looked over his reading glasses at Tracy Kibre. "What can I do for you?"

Tracy smiled. She liked how Jack never minced words. She couldn't think of a better person to have taken over when Branch left and was glad he had decided to run for a full term. "Well, as you know, with Gaffney out I'm in need of second chair."

"And you're thinking..?"

"Van Meter. Actually Kelly suggested her. She said she had been 'invaluable' to her on the McKinney case last month. I took the liberty of looking at her case load, it's not _too_ heavy, a few cases could be shuffled around."

Jack took off his reading glasses and looked up at Tracy. "You took the liberty? Well," Jack sighed, "have her go through her cases. Any that won't be wrapped in the next couple of weeks have her split them up between Walsh and Epstein." He tried hard not to sound too eager. Over the last month he and Harper had gone to painstaking measures to keep their relationship discreet. In fact Mike and Connie, whom each considered to be friends, were the only ones in the office that knew. But he couldn't help but be thrilled for her. The move as Kibre's assistant would only be temporary, but it was a lofty move and a Senior ADA like Kibre requesting Harper as a second was fantasic news. She was more than ready for the challenge working for Tracy would present. Not to mention the education she'd get from a seasoned veteran like her. As Kibre left his office he had to resist the urge to pick up the phone and call Harper's desk. This was news he'd love to be able to give her himself.

Heraldry

Harper sat at her desk drawing up the details of a plea bargain she'd just arranged with a robbery suspect when Tracy strode up. She told Harper of her and Jack's conversation and asked if Harper was interested. Harper figured she asked more out of a courtesy rather than a genuine care of whether or not she wanted the task. From what she'd seen of Tracy Kibre in the four and a half months since her transfer when Kibre wanted something she got it. Of course Harper accepted without hesitation. She immediately began separating her existing cases as soon as Kibre left. She could hardly contain her excitement. Second chair on major case trials. This was a huge opportunity. She knew it would only be for a few months while Kelly was out on maternity leave, but it was a foot in the door. And that was all she needed.

She laughed, seeing the irony in it. She was calculating her rise up a ladder that the man she slept with every night stood atop. Harper's stomach suddenly sunk. She hoped Jack hadn't arranged this pairing with Kibre. As her thoughts drifted to Jack her eyes came to rest on a small, white papier-mache crane. She smiled and instantly got that warm 'Jack feeling' as she called it. The crane, a Christmas gift from Jack, made her think of the recent holidays.

Jimmy DiCillo's arrest came just a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving. Given the recent events she thought it best to go home to Texas for the holidays before her parent's felt the need to visit her themselves. She hated the idea of leaving Jack alone. They hadn't been together long, but the four days away seemed like weeks. By the time Christmas rolled around they had fallen into a comfortable routine. Each spending the night at the other's on a regular basis, breakfast at a diner near Gramercy Park on Saturday mornings, sleeping in and reading the Times on Sundays. It was everything Harper had ever wanted. Christmas morning he'd handed her a small box wrapped in red foil with green curling ribbon, obviously professionally wrapped. Inside the box nestled in red tissue paper sat the white crane. He told her how the crane was considered loyal and auspicious and was one of the earliest symbols for hope and peace. She loved his thoughtfulness. That afternoon she made them a Southern Christmas dinner: turkey and dressing, candied yams, fresh cranberry sauce, and yeast rolls. Afterwards they played Trivial Pursuit and then cozied up on the couch and watched "It's a Wonderful Life". Both the board game and the movie were long standing Christmas Day traditions in the Van Meter home. Jack tolerated it surprisingly well. Unfortunately New Year's Eve was somewhat thwarted by a banquet Jack felt obligated to attend. She understood. Since he'd decided to run for a full term as District Attorney his social calendar had filled up considerably. He hadn't asked her to be his guest and she didn't push the subject. He wasn't comfortable being a couple at work related events. She just kept telling herself to give him time. So she spent New Year's Eve with Connie, Mike and a few others from work at Connie's before excusing herself around 11 and heading home. Happily, much to her surprise, Jack snuck out early from his banquet. So they, along with Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark, rang in the New Year together.

For the first time in a long time she was happy, very happy and in every aspect of her life. Harper jerked back to reality when her phone began ringing.

"Harper Van Meter."

"How's lunch looking for you?" Jack asked on the other end. He resisted the urge to bring up Tracy Kibre first thing.

Harper smiled at the sound of his voice. "Hey… I was just thinking about you."

"All good I hope." Jack leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk.

"Absolutely." Her stomach sank as she decided to broach the distasteful subject of her new assignment. "Did Tracy Kibre come to see you this morning?" She tried to sound as non-chalant as possible.

"She did." Jack chuckled to himself. Harper always tried, but she was never quite able to play her cards as closely as she wanted.

"And?"

"And what? She came in, we talked, she left."

"Jack…"

"Harper…" he mocked. He could feel her eyes boring down on him over the receiver. A few seconds of dead silence passed before Jack spoke. "You want to know if this was _my_ idea."

It didn't surprise her that Jack knew what she was thinking. She'd long abandoned shock at Jack's ability to read her mind. She did, however, suddenly feel very foolish for thinking Jack would compromise himself by pulling strings for her. "Yeah," was all she could seem to manage.

"_Kibre_ asked for you, Harper." Jack paused before letting out a small sigh, "You did this all on your own. Remember that when her high expectations are keeping you up at night."

Harper smiled. "Yeah… Jack, I didn't mean to imply that you'd do anything untoward for me… I just…"

"Don't give it a second thought," he interrupted quickly.

"Speaking of high expectations… I don't think I'm going to be able to make lunch today. As soon as I get my cases handed off I'm headed over to Tracy's office to play catch up. We've got voir dire tomorrow on the Gordon double murder."

Jack smirked thinking of the long nights Harper had in front of her. Some of the best times of his life were long nights in the office. "And so it begins… See ya… sometime."

Harper heard him chuckled just before the receiver clicked dead. Over the last couple of months Jack's generally dry demeanor had began to give way to a more wicked, cheeky sense of humor. Harper knew it was her influence and she took great pride in it.

* * *

In this insance, like most, Jack was right. By the time Friday rolled around Harper hadn't seen him for more than an hour or so a day. The voir dire on the Gordon case had lasted most of both Wednesday and Thursday. So far she enjoyed working with Tracy. Harper liked that she was a competent, smart, and headstrong woman without being a complete ball buster. So much of the time women are either push-over's or complete shrews. Neither of which seemed a viable option to Harper.

Harper sat in Tracy office up to her elbows in witness depositions, grand jury testimonies, and case law. She and Kibre had been plugging away non-stop to get ready for court Monday afternoon. Her blackberry buzzed with a text.

_Lunch? J. _

Her stomach grumbled as if it was suddenly aware of the time. All of her lunches since Tuesday had been working lunches, she wondered how Tracy might feel about her skipping out for an hour or so.

"Everything alright?" Tracy asked as she peaked over a file folder.

"Yeah," Harper glanced at her phone again. "You wouldn't mind if I got out of here for an hour, would you?"

"No, go ahead. You deserve a break. Go out, get some fresh air."

Harper quickly returned Jack's text. "Thanks, can I bring you anything back?"

"Nah, I'll grab something soon."

_____

Harper met Jack at Milo's Bistro. He was seated at a small table for two on the patio reading that morning's paper. Her step quickened when she caught sight of him. Even though she slept next to him every night she felt like she hadn't seen him in days.

"Don't I know you?" she asked looking at him skeptically.

He put down the paper and scowled at her. "Hmmm… you look an awful lot like a woman I used to know, but she abandoned me for her work. Would you like a grilled chicken club sandwich? I happen to have an extra one coming." He half stood and motioned to the chair opposite him.

Harper took a step closer to him, "I'd like that." She leaned in a kissed him softly on the cheek as they both chuckled at their silliness. They sat and chatted about their mornings and their cases while they waited their food to come.

"Harper?"

Harper's breath caught in her throat at the sound of a voice she hadn't heard in a very long time. When she turned around the person standing there was no surprise to her. "Charlie. Oh my God, hi." She was sure all of the blood had left her face leaving it as white as a sheet. She stood as Charlie walked to the table.

"I thought that was you," he chuckled nervously. "It's been awhile. How have you been?" He reached to give her a hug which she instinctively received.

It seemed strange to her how foreign his arms felt when they had once been such a refuge. "I'm good. You?" Harper was taken aback by her emotions or lack there of rather. While the meeting was surprising and somewhat awkward she felt nothing for him. Even after all they'd been through, she looked at him and truly felt nothing.

"I'm good, still at Koening, a partner. Things are good." Charlie glanced at the still seated Jack. "Last I heard you were clerking up in Delaware County. That must have been, what, six years ago?"

Jack, while taking the scene in, tried not to listen too intently. The man, who's name he learned was Charlie, was probably a couple of years shy of forty, average build with wavy brown hair. The slight awkwardness between he and Harper made it obvious to him that they had once been a couple. He suddenly felt very much an outsider. This stranger knew things about Harper he didn't. He never knew Harper had clerked in Delaware County, what else did he not know?

"Seven, seven years. I'm with the Manhattan DA's office now." She noticed Charlie glance at Jack for a second time. "Charlie this is-"

"Jack McCoy." Charlie interrupted. Jack stood and they shook hands, "I recognize you from the papers. Joe Chappell seems to be running a tough campaign." Jack nodded. "If it's any consolation you've got my family's vote." Charlie smiled a friendly grin.

"Well, thank you very much."

"Charlie, we'd better get going?" A pretty redhead with two children in tow came and stood next to him. She flashed a friendly smile at Harper and Jack.

"Yeah, honey, this is Harper, from college and Jack McCoy. This is my wife Stephanie."

They all exchanged hellos quickly. The look of recognition that swept over Stephanie's face sicken Harper. She obviously knew who Harper was, probably the entire drama of it all.

Jack noticed Charlie's discomfort grow when his family appeared. It wasn't a shifty or dishonest discomfort. It was more apologetic than anything else. Harper seemed to be working hard to ignore it.

"And who are you?" Harper said as she tickled the chubby leg of the child in Stephanie's arms. If she had to guess Harper would have said she was about 18 months.

Stephanie immediately brightened as only a mother could. "This little one," she said as she lightly jostled the cherub-faced baby girl in her arms, "is Caitlyn." Caitlyn smiled and layed her head on her mother's shoulder. "And this is Max." Her hand mussed the hair of the 3 year old hiding behind her leg. Harper bent down and spoke to him. He eyed her cautiously. He had his mother's red hair, but Charlie's waves.

Jack watched Harper fuss over the children. His heart sank. She always beamed when children were around. Earlier in the week when the photo of Kelly Gaffney's twins began circulating around the office she'd practically cooed. His heart sank because he knew it was something she was giving up by being with him. They'd never actually discussed it, but that ship had sailed for him a long time ago.

"They're gorgeous," she said to both Charlie and Stephanie.

"Thanks." Charlie smiled uncomfortably. "Well, we should get going. It was good seeing you. And nice meeting you Jack. Good luck to you."

"Thank you." Jack grinned and took his seat at the table.

"It was nice meeting you, Stephanie," she said as she shook Stephanie's manicured hand. "Bye, Charlie. Take care."

Harper joined Jack back at the table and resumed eating her lunch. Though she attempted to hid it, the fact that her mind was elsewhere was obvious. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Cute kids." Jack finally commented.

"Yeah, did you see the cheeks on that Caitlyn?" Harper sighed. "So adorable. And Max, Charlie couldn't deny him if he wanted to."

"Harper," Jack's tone turned serious. "I know now probably isn't the best time to talk about this, but it's been weighing on my mind lately." He pushed his empty plate away and rested his elbows on the table. Harper began to feel uneasy at the turn the conversation had taken. "I worry that your wasting opportunities for certain things by being with me." He reached across the small table and took her hand.

"Certain things?" Her brow furrowed. She really didn't want to have this conversation here.

"A family. A normal life. You'll never have that with me."

He seemed so sad. Harper had the urge to hug him. The fact that he even concerned about such things spoke volumes about the kind of man Jack McCoy was. Harper shook her head, "Jack…"

"I'm serious, Harper. These are things you should consider."

Harper's eyes began to moisten. She took his hand in both of hers and sighed deeply. "I love you, Jack. And I love that your concerned about this, but I haven't really seen you in almost three days. Can't we do this another time?"

What she really wanted to was to crawl into Jack's lap, let him wrap his arms around her, and hold her tightly. She wanted to tell him all about Charlie and their relationship, how it had ended badly, and how it had changed her and everything she had ever thought she wanted. She promised herself she'd have this conversation with him. Unlike the other men she'd dated since Charlie, she wanted him to know. He was important enough to tell.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: **_Sorry this took so long to post. Thanks to mccoylover for the supportive urging!! I REALLY wouldn't have gotten this done without you! I'll try not to take so long for the next chapter! :-)_

* * *

Chapter 4

Jack McCoy stepped out of the elevator onto the 7th floor of One Hogan Place. He'd just returned from yet another meeting with his campaign manager, Martin McAlester. As much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to enjoy this politics game. It could be exhausting at times, but it really wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. As he walked down the hall toward his office his interest was peaked by a joyful commotion coming from the direction of Tracy Kibre's office.

Jack turned the corner to find Tracy, Harper, Kelly Gaffney, and ADAs Rachel Perry and Lisa Boley gathered in Kibre's office. Rachael and Tracy each held a small bundle in their arms. He was beginning to think those babies were haunting him. He strolled to the doorway and gently rapped on the door frame.

"So are these the famous Salazar twins everyone keeps talking about?"

Everyone said their 'hellos' as Jack enter the room. Harper's heart did a little dance, per usual. Jack stopped and peered at the cooing baby in Rachael's arms, dressed in the obligatory pink. He couldn't help but smile.

"That's Teague," Kelly said proudly as she approached her boss. "And Tracy has Javier."

Jack glanced across the room at the blue bundle in Tracy's arms. It never ceased to amaze him how all women, even one as liberated as Tracy Kibre, suddenly turned to mush in the company of babies.

"Congratulations," Jack rested his hand on Kelly shoulder and smiled warmly. "Are you getting much sleep?"

Kelly smiled. "Much is a relative term," she chuckled. "But it's not too bad."

"OK, who's next?" Rachael asked. "Lisa and I are due in Part 46 in a few minutes."

Harper scooted across the room quickly. "Don't even think about giving that baby to anyone but me." A smile spread across her face as Rachael placed Teague into Harper's eager arms.

Jack watched her smile down and the child. Her eyes twinkled with delight when she yawned and let out a little whimper. She lifted Teague and planted light kisses on her temple. He watched as she closed her eyes and took in the baby's scent. He'd never seen her look more beautiful.

Harper's heart strings tugged. There was nothing more wonderful than the smell of a baby. She could never tire of it. When she opened her eyes she noticed Jack's observation. She smiled sheepishly at him. Hoping he didn't read too much into her doting.

"I heard you guys were here." DA Investigator Hector Salazar came into the office. He stopped at Harper and bent down to kiss his daughter. She reluctantly handed the baby over to him. He cradled her in his arms at the same time realizing Jack was in the room. "Mr. McCoy," he reached to shake his hand.

"It's a beautiful family you've got here, Hector."

"Thank you, sir. I'm very lucky." Hector walked over and kissed both Kelly and Javier.

As they chatted Javier became fussy in Tracy's arms. She immediately became uneasy. "OK," she said as she held him away from her body, "I don't do crying babies."

Harper laughed and eagerly accepted the irritable baby. She held him to her shoulder with her hand behind his head and began to gently bounce. He quickly ceased his whimpering.

"You're good at that." Kelly said with a surprise.

"Yeah, the bounce will get 'em every time. Comes from years of babysitting."

"Well you're a natural. You should definitely have children. It would be a shame to waste such innate talent."

Harper just smiled quietly.

Jack, never one to waste an opportunity, saw an opening. "Kelly's right. Don't you want children?" He smiled casually. No one in the room could have possibly known the hidden context of the query.

Harper blushed, shocked at Jack's brazenness. "I, uh… I would like nothing more than to have a house full." She paused, breathing in the aroma of the boy in her arms. "But, that's not going to happen for me." She looked at him intently, "It's OK, though. You take what life gives you and you appreciate it."

Jack just nodded. Part of his heart ached for her, at the same time part of it overflowed with affection.

* * *

That evening for the first time in over a month Harper was out of the office before 8 o'clock. After almost a full day of testimony in the Gordon trial Judge Reynolds called an early recess. Since they'd been prepared for a full afternoon of testimony there wasn't much to do once she and Tracy had gone back to the office, allowing her to leave at a decent hour.

She stopped at the market on her way to Jack's. She hadn't cooked dinner in several weeks and was glad to finally get back in the kitchen. She knew she owed him a conversation. Something he'd so stealthily pointed out in Tracy's office that morning. So she set out making them a nice dinner to cushion what she hoped would be a quick conversation.

The aroma of food cooking hit Jack the second he opened the door. He'd always loved coming home to the smell of food. Something that began in childhood he supposed. He put down he his briefcase and shed his coat and suit jacket before seeking out the pleasant fragrance's source. When he turned the corner he couldn't help but smile. There leaned over the counter of the kitchen's island was Harper. She had an apron on over her black slacks and black mock turtle ensemble, her hair was pulled into a loose bun, her black rimmed glasses sat atop her nose that was buried in the latest Nora Roberts novel. She was oblivious so he cleared his throat to alert her of his arrival.

"Finally…" She said as she laid her book down on the counter. She winked his way as her barefeet glided across to the fridge and pulled out two marinating steaks. "These'll be done in about 10 minutes."

As she placed the raw steaks onto the broiling pan Jack moved in behind her and snaked his arms around her waist. "You don't have to wear that silly apron, you know." He lightly kissed her neck just below her ear, catching a whiff of her perfume. The green and white polka dot apron, a bibbed throwback reminiscent of Donna Reed, was a present he'd bought her a couple of months ago. He'd intended it as more of a joke really. It had even came with a matching hair snug.

"Stop it." She turned to face him. "You know, I love this apron. It's very functional and besides," she smiled wickedly at him, "_I _think it's kinda sexy. Don't you?"

He smiled her favorite smile and nodded silently before bending down and kissing her fully on the lips. She broke their embrace and smiled up at him, lightly stroking his face. "Go change. It'll be ready by the time you are." She swatted his backside before she turned her attention back to their dinner.

By the time Jack returned their food was plated and he had a cold beer waiting on him at the table. They ate in relative silence, simply enjoying the other's presence. Lately these nights were few and far between.

Harper got up to clear the dishes. Jack stopped her insisting she let him. They split the difference: he washed, she'd rinse. They moved through the kitchen in an easy fashion as if they'd been doing it for a number of years.

Jack was in awe of Harper. She was a walking contradiction to him. He'd dated post-Women's Lib women for the majority of his life. And they were, of course, everything that description entailed. Harper was different. She possessed those independent qualities one would expect any 34 year old woman to have, but she also possessed some more archaic qualities one wouldn't expect. He could tell she found it very gratifying to not only cook for him, but to make his plate and clean up afterwards. At times she practically doted on him. She, obviously, wanted children, 'a house full' to be exact. He attributed it, in part, to her southern upbringing. It was perplexing. It was such a juxtaposition to the Harper he saw in the courtroom.

"So," she started as she rinsed the suds from their dinner plates. "You think you're so clever, Jack McCoy."

Jack chuckled. He was surprised it took her this long to bring it up. "Who? Me?"

"Yeah, you." She smiled sideways at him. "_'Kelly's right. Don't you want children?'_" she mocked.

Jack shrugged. "Sometimes it's hard to get a straight answer out of you."

"So you figure if you corner me among others…."

"Worked didn't it." He smiled and emptied the dishwater from the sink. "You said it yourself, Harper. You want children. A house full. Are you really willing to sacrifice that?" His look and tone turned serious. "The truth is, I worry about you." He sighed.

"Worry about me? Whatever for?" She furrowed her brow, totally unaware of his course of thought. She faced Jack, leaning against the kitchen island with her arms across her chest.

"I'm 63 years old, Harper. At best I've got, what, fifteen maybe twenty years left? If I'm lucky."

Harper's stomach began to knot. She didn't like the thought of Jack not being around. "What's your point?'

He could see her growing anxiety, so he moved closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Twenty years. That's a long time, right? Longer than any of my marriages." He smiled and sensed her relaxing against his body. "Say you give up your opportunity to have any children. And after twenty amazing years together I die." Jack paused, obviously struggling with what came next. "You'll be alone. There won't be any children or grandchildren. It will too late for you start over. I don't want you to regret that."

He held her tightly. She felt his sincerity in every word. "Jack…." Her hand ran down his cheek and rested on his chest. "There's no need to worry about me." He looked at her stubbornly. She felt the need to break the seriousness. "Besides," she pushed away from his captivating arms, "by that time I'll be in my mid-50's. I'll just get a twenty-something boyfriend." She turned and winked, "I'll be fine."

"Harper…" Jack said exasperatedly as he followed her into the next room. "This isn't a joke! We need to talk about this."

"Forgive me, but I don't want to talk about you dying!"

"It'll happen! Hopefully not anytime soon, but…"

"It's a moot point, Jack."

"It's _not_ moot! I _will_ die and you _will_ be alone!"

"Obviously." This time she was the one with the exasperated tone. She exhaled loudly. "Not the dying bit. The children bit."

"That's not moot either. You're giving up an chance at a something you want, something you _desperately_ want. And don't deny that you want children badly. I've seen you with them. You shine brighter than a 100-watt bulb! As much as I love you, you shouldn't give up something you want that badly for _me_!"

"I'm not!"

"Harper, if you don't-"

"I can't have children Jack!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. They stung, even now. "So you see… it _is_ moot. I will never have children regardless of you." Harper sank onto the couch, afraid to look at Jack. She knew he'd have that look that people always had when they found out. Pity. Remorse. Shock.

Jack felt like the air had been knocked out of him. He'd been so wrapped up his point, he hadn't actually been hearing hers. Children weren't in her future, the children argument was moot, she wasn't giving up children for him. If he had listened he would have actually _heard_ her. He sat down in the chair across from her. "Harper, I…."

She smiled. Her eyes were wet with tears that didn't fall. "Do you remember that day at Milo's? My _friend_ Charlie?" Jack nodded. She sat there in silence collecting her thoughts. "We started dating my freshman year. Charlie was a senior, an accounting major. We were… inseparable."

Jack leaned back in his chair, watching Harper. Her face was a mixture of emotion as she remembered things he could only assume were bittersweet.

"We got married the summer before I started law school." She smiled at Jack's surprise. "We had quite the ten-year plan. I'd finish law school, join a law firm, and make partner by the time I was 35. He was going to work his way up at Koening, make all the right connections, and then open his own accounting firm. We were going to have two and half children and a dog and it was going to be very Norman Rockwell." She smiled trying to make light of the situation.

"So what happened?"

She sighed. "My second year of law school I got sick." Jack's questioning looked turned to one of concern. "I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian disease. I'm fine." Harper felt her eyes moisten, she hated telling this story. "But, I can't have children. We talked about our options. The doctor said I had maybe a 30% chance with infertility treatments, but I didn't want to take the chance of being one of those women giving birth to seven children." She laughed. "Needless to say, our marriage went south very quickly. It was over not long after our second anniversary."

Jack moved to the sofa next to Harper and took her hands into his. Their warmth coaxing her to continue. "I was a bit of a mess after the divorce. I took some time off from school, needed to figure things out. I ran away, really."

"Everybody needs to run away sometimes." He smiled warmly. "You were going through a great deal."

She looked at him earnestly. "I went to Honduras…." Jack's eyes widened. "For two years."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle out loud. "Well, at least when you do something, you commit to doing it right."

Harper tried in vain to stifle her laughs. She loved the comfort Jack brought her. "I joined The Peace Corps. It was an amazing experience. I learned so much, about life, about myself. I realized that even though I wouldn't have some of the things I'd always wanted, that didn't mean I wouldn't be ever be happy. I just need to make a _new _plan." She smiled at his loving face.

"You are full of surprises, Harper Van Meter." He pulled her to him and kissed her softly on the forehead.

She turned to look him in the eye. She could never decide, but right now, his eyes were her favorite part about him. They were so penetrating and at times more expressive than words could ever be.

"I love you, Jack. And there is _no way _I could every regret living a life with you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: This one gets a little steamy towards the end. I just finished reading a Nora Roberts novel. Blame it on her! ;-)**

* * *

Chapter 5

Harper added cream to yet another cup of coffee. She chided herself. She was drinking too much of the stuff lately. Still, she had a couple briefs to write before she could call it a day and she need the pick me up. The office, however, was winding down. A few people here and there, making last minute phone calls, waiting around holding out hope for a returned verdict before the end of day.

Harper dropped her coffee off at her desk and headed to the ladies' room before devoting the next couple of hours to work.

"Who do you think it is?"

"I'm telling you, it's Rubirosa."

Harper, tucked quietly away within the stall, perked up when she heard her friend's name. She recognized the voices and peeked through the slit in the stall doors. A couple of secretaries stood at the mirror checking their make-up primping, no doubt, for after hours drinks. She couldn't recall their names. Gossips, though.

"You think?" The redhead asked unconvinced.

"Rubirosa. No doubt." The confident one replied.

Harper sat silently and motionlessly, as not to call attention to her presence. What could they possibly be talking about?

"I don't see it. Plus, she was his assistant."

"Exactly. That's McCoy's M.O."

Now they _really_ had Harper's attention.

"I don't know." She was still unconvinced.

"Striking brunette? More than a couple of decades his junior? Rubirosa. Period. She's had a thing for him since they were assigned together. I heard she even has a 'No dumping on Jack' rule with Cutter."

The other woman laughed. "Mike Cutter," she sighed. "Now there's a man I wouldn't kick out of bed." They chuckled and exchanged glances. "Rubirosa…. Well, who really knows, right?"

"The Ledger, evidentially."

By the time they left the restroom Harper's curiosity was more than peaked. On her way back she stopped at Bradley Weber's desk. Weber, a stout family man in his fifties, was well known throughout the office for always having a variety of newspapers on hand. Rumor had it he read ten newspapers a day.

"Hey Brad," Harper smiled innocently at the middle aged attorney. "You wouldn't happen to have today's Ledger, would you?"

"Uh…" He riffled through one of several stacks of papers on his desk before pulling out the desired periodical. "Yeah, right here." He handed it over and went back to his case file. Harper began to scan the first couple of pages. "It's been a popular one around here today. Stein's in rare form," Weber said without taking his nose out of his work.

"Oh? How's so?" Harper tried to keep an innocuous tone.

"Trying to push Jack's buttons is all." He looked up at her flushed, expressionless face. "You can keep that. I've read it already."

"OK, thanks."

"Yep."

Harper took a couple of steps before turning back. "Hey, Weber," he looked up at her quizzically, "do you _really_ read all those papers everyday?"

"I like to be informed." Harper nodded silently as a slow grin crossed his face. "Maybe not _all_ of them."

Harper smiled as she leaned closer in his direction. "You're secret's safe with me," she said in a whisper.

Once she was safely back at her desk she thumbed through the paper until she found Adam Stein's Page Six gossip column. She scanned quickly before finding mention of Jack midway down the page.

_Incumbent candidate for Manhattan District Attorney, __**Jack McCoy**__ was spotted taking in a Knicks game at the Garden Saturday night. The DA, who's running within the margin of error against Lt. Attorney General Joe Chappell, was in the company of a striking brunette. The young lady, I say young because she must have been more than a couple of decades his junior, watched the game intently, but only had eyes for the DA. The cozy pair took their leave on his motorcycle a full fifteen minutes before the end of the game. For those of you who care about such things… Knicks 96, Cavs 112 Who can blame them for leaving early?_

A wave of nausea hit Harper as she sunk into her chair. This wasn't good.

"Look at you. Reading the gossip columns." Tracy Kibre startled her.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Guilty pleasure."

Tracy leaned in and inspected the paper in front of Harper. "It seems Rubirosa is the odds on favorite for Jack's mystery woman." She sat down in the chair next to Harper's desk watching her assistant intently. "But that's not exactly accurate, is it?"

Harper studied Tracy, trying to detect her point of view on the topic. She gave up. She heaved a heavy sigh and shook her head.

Not long after she had started assisting her Tracy began to suspect there was something between her boss and Harper. She dismissed the idea at first. Jack had a history of romancing his assistants, but to the best of her knowledge that had all ended with Claire Kincaid's death though she'd had her suspicions about Abbie Carmichael. There was something about their manner together that finally brought Tracy to the realization. It was relaxed and without pretense. It was as if one was constantly aware of the other like a satellite and the planet it orbits. She still hadn't decided who was the satellite and who was the planet.

"It's not that we mind people knowing. We just prefer to keep it out of the office."

Tracy held her hands up in defense. "Don't worry. You'll get no judgment from me."

Harper leaned back in her chair. She suddenly felt the burden of the long day all over. "I'm not naive. I know what people will say."

"What's that?"

"That I'm using him." She smiled bitterly. "That he's taking advantage of me.

"Are you? Using him?" Kibre asked in her no nonsense manner.

Harper sat up in her seat. Her face wrought with disbelief. "Of course not. How could you think-"

Tracy put her hand up to silence her assistant. "Is he taking advantage of you?"

At this Harper had to chuckle. She also realized her superior was trying to make a point. "The notion's ridiculous."

"Then don't worry about the rest." She picked at the newspaper flippantly. "Adam Stein's an instigator. He knows how Jack is about his personal life. A couple of years ago he printed a piece about his estranged relationship with his daughter. Jack was not happy."

Harper sighed. "That's precisely my worry…" She pressed her fingers to her temples and rubbed. For the first time in their relationship she dreaded going home. The blurb wasn't her fault, even if she had been the one to suggest the game. She knew Jack wouldn't blame her. But she dreaded the possibility of see that look on his face. The one that said, 'What the hell am I doing?' or 'I should just quit while I'm ahead.' It seemed to Harper, no matter how good things were going, she was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.

* * *

"Jack! Just hear me out."

"I will not Martin," Jack McCoy was more than a little agitated with his campaign manager. "It's a non sequitur. Move on."

"Jack," the smartly dressed politico kept his tone calm, "it's just four weeks until the election. All I'm saying is the two of you should lay low for a couple of weeks, let the interest die down."

"We're two consenting adults, Martin."

"Yes, Jack, I get that. But we're talking about the voters of New York County. This could make you look exploitative and, possibly even an abuser of your power over a young and naïve underling." Jack shot him a lethal glare. "I'm not saying that's what it is. I'm saying that's how it could _look_."

Jack rubbed the back of his stiff neck. He was tired of this argument. They'd been having it off and on all day. Adam Stein was bound and determined to be come a persistent pain in his ass. "I thought all publicity was good publicity?" he asked dismissively.

Martin McAlester was not amused. "Damn it Jack! I'm trying to help you win this election. Don't be so noble. After the election you can take her to Kentucky-fucking-Derby if you want! Just keep her away from the cameras' lenses for four lousy weeks!"

"I will not shoo her in the closet like she's some kind of embarrassment. She's done nothing wrong. _We've_ done nothing wrong. Move on."

The DA gave Martin a steely gaze that told him that the conversation was over. He understood where Jack was coming from. Personally, he really liked Harper. The voters, however, might not take too kindly to a candidate dating a woman, his subordinate no less, that's 29 years younger than him. They were running such a tight race. He hated to think of the whole thing being derailed by a minor scandal such as this.

* * *

Harper stood silently in Hogan Place's descending elevator. She'd debated back and forth before deciding to call Jack and tell him she wasn't coming over tonight. Then she chickened out. It was quite the conundrum actually. On one hand she dreaded every step that took her closer to him, to his possible disappointment in the recent development. On the other she, as always, couldn't wait to get home to him after the long day, to the sanctuary his arms presented. It was that sanctuary that kept her from making the call.

The townhouse was dimly lit when she entered. She heard the distant sound of a basketball playing on the television. Before she could ascertain who was playing she heard Jack grumbling about something. He was on the phone. Not wanting to disturb him and if she was honest with herself, putting off their conversation, she slid out of her black pumps and slipped into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of wine. Harper quickly downed one glass before she headed into the living room with the second.

In the darkness just outside of the front room Jack's grumbles became distinguishable.

"For the last time just tell them 'No comment', Martin." His voice was beyond irritated. "I don't comment on my personal life. And neither do you."

And so it began, she thought. She took a deep breath and a sip of wine before she entered. Jack stopped pacing the room and smiled hello. Harper settled into the soft leather chair that was easily her favorite in the entire house with her bare feet tucked underneath her.

She watched Jack as he continued to pace the room. His tie along with his shoes had long been abandoned and his sleeves were rolled up in work mode. When he finally finished his call he exhaled out loud. She could see the exhaustion written all over him. She smiled and without saying a word moved to the sofa and sat on the arm with her feet on the cushion. She held her hand out to Jack.

He stalked towards her not quite knowing what to say. He wondered if she'd heard any of his conversation. Or if she'd even heard about Stein's article? He took her offered hand and kissed her palm before he sank into the cushion in front of her. She wrapped her legs around him locking her ankles and resting them in his lap. His warm hands softly rubbed her smooth calves as hers began to rub the tension from shoulders and neck.

"Long day?"

His eyes were closed as her ministrations worked the tired muscles. "Mm-hm," was all he could seem to manage. Her hands were like magic. He caught a whiff of her perfume and found himself wondering how she could still smell so good after working 12 hours.

They sat in silence while she continued the message.

"I've caused problems for you," she said matter-of-factly. Her hand slid down his spine with pressure eliciting a low groan from Jack.

His hands began to lightly rub to soles of her feet. "You've done no such thing. Adam Stein and I have a history. It's got nothing to do with you."

She rested her hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath. "If you want take a… take a break or something. Until the election or whatever, I'd understand." It was the last thing in the world she wanted, but if it was going to be said, she wanted to be the one to say it.

Jack righted himself on the sofa, one of her legs still draped across him. "Where did that come from?"

Harper shrugged. "I… I know this could complicate things and… I…." She couldn't seem to find the words. By this time the idea of being without Jack had taken root. She was already beginning to feel rudderless.

Jack took her hand in his. "First of all, you don't need to worry about my campaign. That's what I have a campaign manager for." Harper started to interject, but Jack continued. "Secondly, you could _never_ be a problem for me."

"But, Jack.."

"Harper, do you want out of this? Because if you do, then you're going to have to say that. Say that and go. Otherwise, your stuck with me." He grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap. His hands moved up and cupped her face. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her heart danced. Unfortunately, a part of her head continued to doubt. It wasn't that she doubted his devotion so much as she doubted the longevity of his devotion. She wanted to give into the jubilation of her heart, but bad memories seemed to keep them at bay.

Jack watched Harper and sensed her reluctance. He took her hands in his. "When are you going to trust me?"

The question shocked her. "I do trust you, Jack." She held his gaze hoping it conveyed the sincerity she felt.

"When are you going to trust that I'm not going to walk out on you?"

The question broke her heart. Unable to answer, she diverted her gaze. She chose instead to focus on their entwined hands. It was hard to tell which were his and which were hers.

"Damn him," he sighed. "Damn him for hurting you."

She looked into his loving eyes. How she could ever doubt him was beyond her. She wrapped his arms around her waist and lightly caressed his face. "I'm sorry. I'm working on it, ya know?" He nodded and she leaned in to kiss him. She wondered if she'd ever get used to the heady sensation of kissing Jack. He kissed her like no other man had ever kissed her. They were the most wonderful mixture of confidence and tenderness.

Their kiss deepened as Jack's strong hands began to roam over Harper's bottom. He pulled her closer to him. She moved against him delighted in his growing hardness. His mouth moved to her neck as his hands unzipped her suit dress and roamed over her bare back. While their tongues danced around each other Jack pulled her dress top down to her waist and removed the lacy, beige bra she wore underneath. His fingertips lightly traced their way up her sides. She stiffened and her breath caught in response. Jack smiled, not trying to hide his pleasure in her goosebumps. He held her gaze as his hands glided up to her breasts and took one into his mouth. Harper closed her eyes in bliss. Without warning he slid his hand between them and stroked her. He expertly brought her to a climax within minutes.

She rested her head on his shoulder as she recovered. Her fingers played with the hair at his neckline absently as a small, throaty laugh escaped her .

Jack looked at her sideways with raised eyebrows. "Something funny?" One hand had already found its way back to her breast which he fondled gently while the other lightly stroke up and down her back.

She pulled away from him and smiled with heavy eyes. "I was just thinking. This is _not_ how I thought I'd be spending my evening." She pressed down on him teasingly.

His eyes smiled up at her. "A surprise…"

She moved her hands atop of his as they caressed her bosom. "Albeit a very pleasant one." They kissed long and deep. Harper's hands stopped his movement on her as her face grew serious. "I _do_ trust you, Jack. You've become such an integral part of me in such a short time. It scares me."

Jack wrapped his arms around her tightly and squeezed. She continually astonished him. She was able to be so candid about her emotions. He envied that. As he held her his lips brushed her shoulder. He decided this must be how it felt, to love someone so completely that you knew you would never be without a them again. He tightened his embrace. Yes, this is how that feels.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Jack strode down the hallway towards the 10th floor elevators. The task at hand was an unenviable one. However, he was certain the news of Bobby Amato's arrest was one Rita Shalvoy should hear from him. He'd known Rita for a number of years and despite the current political climate felt he owed her as much. On his way he spotted Tracy and Harper in Kibre's office both had files opened in front of them. While Tracy coolly studied the one before her Harper seemed distracted as she stared into space and tapped her pen against her bottom lip.

He rapped on the door lightly as he poked his head in. "Still waiting on a verdict?" His smile was casual and knowing. He stepped into the office, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

Tracy closed her file and discarded her glasses. "Nearing the end of day two and counting… I think Harper's getting antsy."

"Two days is a long time," Harper's defensive tone was marred with concern. She checked her Blackberry for the sixth time in the last half hour and shook her head. "They should've been back by now."

"Don't borrow trouble. They'll be back soon." His warm eyes settled her frazzled nerves. "You gave them a lot to think about. The case was strong, very little wiggle room for the defense to plant any reasonable doubt. They'll come back when they come back." Jack turned and head for the door to resume his task.

"That's awfully Zen of you, Jack." A smirk spread across Tracy's face. "Are you getting pragmatic on us in your old age?"

Jack paused in the doorway, "You know me better than that, don't you Tracy?" He shot Harper a quick wink before closing the door and leaving them to their anticipation.

* * *

As Jack exited the Shalvoy's home he felt his head begin to throb. He hoped what his gut was telling him was wrong. Rita was someone he considered above reproach, even if she did have awful taste in men. Before marrying Shalvoy she'd been a passionate advocate for victims of violence and done so much good. Still something wasn't setting right with him after their conversation. And unfortunately, his gut was usually right.

He pulled out his Blackberry to check his messages. He still couldn't believe he was using this thing. Worse yet, were the looks of encouragement he got from many of his colleagues when he used it. The looks made him feel like a child who'd just learned to tie his own shoes. Five texts in the last 20 minutes; one from Mike, three from Martin, and one from Harper. He sighed, missing the days when one could actually be unreachable for a few minutes. He went directly to Harper's.

_Jury back. Guilty, both counts! Going for a drink at Shaunessy's. Victory dinner afterwards? My place? XO_

He smiled as he got in to the car and gave his driver instructions. This was a big win for her. She'd be on Cloud 9 all night long. He quickly pecked out a reply.

_Congrats! Have a few things to finish up. Take your time at Shaunessy's… Meet you at your's. I'll bring the champagne. _

He hit send.

Maybe they'd do something special this weekend, to celebrate. They hadn't been out of the city since the first month they were together. The campaign was beginning to wind down. Of course, Martin said the last weeks were the worst. He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes. How Adam Schiff did this for so long was beyond him.

* * *

Jack sat in the silence of Harper's small apartment. He went over paperwork as he waited for Harper and dinner. He put down his pen and leaned back against the couch. He inhaled and her scent filled his senses despite her absence. Her place was a second home to him now, he wondered how he could have once felt so out of place here.

The silence, however, seemed very out of place. He blamed that on Harper. He had never been one that minded silence. In fact he'd spent many nights alone, working in his apartment with nothing but the sound of pen on paper to comfort him. And he enjoyed it. It was a refuge from the bustle of the day. On the contrary Harper was never without 'background noise' as she called it. Sometimes it was the television, but generally it was music in one form or another. Now it seemed silence was deafening to him.

Harper's keys rattled in the lock. A thin smile spread across Jack's lips. He could hear her jovial humming through the thick door. The door slid open and she sauntered into the room, kicking it closed with her high-heeled foot.

Harper held up the sacks of take-out and exhaled with a smile. "Dinner is served."

"Finally!" He scowled at her with false exasperation.

She continued to hum as she danced over to him and set the food on the coffee table. "_I_ am in a good mood tonight," she took him by the hand and pulled him to his feet, "and there is nothing you can do to sabotage that, McCoy." Holding his hand she stepped away and twirled under his outstretched arm. He smiled her favorite smile and pulled her to him. They began to sway to her humming.

Harper's head rested on his chest as her warmth and scent over took him. Her hums vibrated through his chest kick starting his heart. He loved her carefree nature. She looked up at him. Her eyes were full of light-hearted folly as her fingers lightly played at his neck and jaw line.

"Show me, show me, show me how you do that trick," she sang. "The one that makes me scream she said, the one that makes me laugh she said, and threw her arms around my neck."

Jack couldn't do anything but hold her close and watch her in delight.

"Show me how you do it and I promise you," her finger trailed across his cheek and traced his smiling lips, "I promise that I'll run away with you…. I'll run away with you….."

Jack lightly kissed her fingertip and forced a scowl. "Have I introduced you to The Clash?"

Harper giggled. "Yeah, we tried that. Remember? Didn't work out so well," she shrugged.

He smiled down at her. "And how much did you have to drink?"

She slapped him playfully on the chest, "I am _not_ drunk, Jack McCoy! I'm high on victory." She poked his arm, "And don't be dogging on The Cure."

"The Cure, huh?" She nodded. "Well, I wish every win affected you this way." He bent and kissed her fully on her lips. She groaned consentingly into him. He pulled back to look her in the eyes, his thumb caressed her flushed cheek. "Congratulations."

"Thank you. Are you hungry?" Her eyes grew big, "I'm starving…"

"Famished."

They settled into the couch and discussed their days over baked ziti, garlic bread, and stuffed mushrooms. Jack conveniently omitted any hint of his visit to the Shalvoy's. Sometime ago Harper expressed her dislike for both the Governor and First Lady. She felt very protective of Jack and took Shalvoy's attacks against him personally. He didn't know what her aversion to Rita was, guilt by association maybe, although that seemed out of character for her. But of course, his defense of Rita hadn't helped the situation.

"_Truly virtuous people don't marry slim balls, Jack." _She had said.  
"_So she has bad taste in men. That's not a condemnable offense, Harper." _He had countered. _"I worked with Rita when she was a victim's advocate. She's a good person."  
_"_I concede, bad men happen to good women. But you can't sleep next to someone like Donald Shalvoy for 10-plus years without getting some dirt on you." _

She'd retreated from the room immediately thereafter. He was glad, he didn't want to argue with her, especially not over the Shalvoy's of all things. So he left out his visit and hoped Connie hadn't mentioned it to her either.

"You're mail's on the counter." Jack shouted to her has she took care of the dinner dishes.

She finished them up and sorted through the pile as she joined Jack in the bedroom. When she got to the oversized ivory envelope she tossed the others to the dresser.

"Well I've never smiled like that at a bill." Jack chuckled as he undressed for bed.

She rolled her eyes at him and focused her attention on the envelope. She broke the gold seal embossed with two entwined hearts. The satin pink lined envelope cradled another ivory one. This one was addressed to 'Harper and Jack' in a lacy calligraphy.

Jack watched with amusement as Harper delicately extracted the envelopes from one another. He didn't know what the item was, though experience told him it was some sort of an invitation, to what he didn't know. The gleam in her brown eyes made his heart skip a beat. She looked over the contents before holding it out to Jack.

"A wedding invitation…" he said less than enthused. The ivory paper was covered with a white velum black and white photo of a young couple. A handsome dark haired man satting on a dock surrounded by a lake, or pond maybe. A pretty young blonde was draped over his shoulders, their hands clasped together at his chest. They both smiled revealing dimples on their cheeks. They looked so happy that he couldn't help but smile himself. The script under the velum said their names were Brandon Webster and Kelli Ann Peters.

"Kelli Ann?" Jack looked up at Harper, "This is your friend? From home?"

Harper nodded and picked up a photo from her dresser. She handed it to Jack as she joined him on the bed. The photo, taken at a football game, was of a much younger Harper and two other girls. On one end was Kelli Ann with her long, blonde curls. She wore an oversized purple letterman's jacket that had a varsity football patch and a gold armadillo on the chest. On the other end was a Mexican girl who's name Jack couldn't remember. She also wore a letterman's jacket, but unlike Kelli Ann's hers was a proper fit, lending credence the thought that Kelli Ann's was some boy's. Sandwiched in between the two girls was Harper. Her light brown hair was in a ponytail high atop her head with gold and purple ribbons tied around it. She had a football painted on her right cheek and held up her index finger. She smiled the smile of carefree youth.

"We've been best friends our whole lives." She grinned fondly. "We were practically inseparable until I went away to college."

Jack pointed at the mystery girl. "I'm sorry, what's her name again?"

"Miranda."

Jack nodded. "And she's your sister-in-law now. She's married… Bobby?"

She chuckled, "Very good."

"And they own the pecan ranch," Jack glanced back down at the invitation. "Which, coincidentally, the reception is being held at."

Harper smiled and petted Jack's arm condescendingly, "You _were_ paying attention when I told you about my family…."

"Ha-ha."

"So… the wedding's not for another month or so." She sat up, spying him cautiously. He looked over the invitation again and nodded with a grunt. To Harper's irritation he gave no hint to his mindset. "The election will be over."

Jack's posture stiffened. He wanted to meet her family. She spoke of them with such high regard, how could he not? It was just bound to complicate things. Families always do. Things were so good with them right now. Simple. _Un_complicated. He studied the framed photo of Harper and her friends and smiled. "What were you like back then?"

"Silly." Jack eyed her bluntly. Harper sighed and fell forward onto her elbows. "Headstrong. Opinionated. Cute to a fault." She smirked up at him, "Not much different than I am now."

His eyes smiled through his glare as he reached over and tugged on her earlobe playfully.

"Just think about." She slid the invitation's envelope onto the frame he was still holding. "They did, after all, _invite_ you."

Jack examined the ivory envelope embossed with their names. It'd been awhile since his name was coupled with woman's. Surprisingly, he liked it. After his last divorce he'd given up on the idea of a lasting relationship. And now he couldn't imagine his life with out Harper in it. He rose and planted a light kiss on her temple. "We'll see," he said as he headed towards the bathroom.

'We'll see.' a placating answer. Not a yes, not a no. She turned onto her side to follow him with her eyes. "Well don't put yourself out, McCoy." She mumbled so Jack wouldn't hear her. She didn't want to start a fight, not tonight. She wanted to hold onto what was left of her diminishing good mood.

Harper sat in the bed reading when Jack returned to the other room. He approached the situation cautiously knowing his non-committal might have angered her. He quietly slid under the white sheets and multi-colored quilt. "So I was thinking," he stared up at her from his pillow, "how about we celebrate your win this weekend?"

She looked down at him fully prepared to rebuff any suggestion. His dark eyes twinkled up at her and any resolve she had melted. "And how do you suggest we do that?"

"Well, I happen to have a very neglected ketch in Oyster Bay. We could leave Friday night come back Sunday. It's still pretty cool out there this time of year, but that can be nice…" He stealthily slid his hand onto her thigh and squeezed.

"You have a _sailboat_?"

He nodded. He studied her face as is hand slowly traveled in between her warm legs. "I think you'd like it."

Harper pursed her lips together and pretended indecision. She took off her glasses, put away her book, and slipped deeper under the sheets, closer to Jack's warm body. She kissed him, savoring his taste and scent. She pulled away, smiled impishly, and retreated to her side of the bed. With her back to him she laid in wait.

Jack instinctively followed. Delighted in the game, he moved her hair aside and began feathering the back of her neck with light kisses. Harper quickly turned onto her back to allow him more access. Her breath caught in her throat as his fingertips slid across her stomach under her tank top.

"Will you teach me sail?" she said trying hard to sound in control.

His kisses stopped on her collarbone and nuzzled her jaw line. "Is that a yes?"

She pulled her head away causing him to look up at her. She smiled devilishly and ran her leg in between his. "We'll see."

* * *

**A/N**: _Just Like Heaven _by Robert Smith, Simon Gallup, Laurence Tolhurst, Boris Bransby-Williams, and PorlThompson.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Here," Jack handed Harper a rope, "tie this down starboard, a bowline." Harper turned and started affixing the rope to the hitch. Jack glanced up and sighed. "The other starboard," he chuckled as he motioned towards the right side of the boat.

Tucking her brown hair behind her ears Harper scowled in confusion. Her pride slightly wounded by his chuckles. "I thought… that… was port." Pointing to the other side of the boat, her confusion grew. He smiled patiently as his silver hair blew in the ocean breeze. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "I don't know why you just can't call it what it is," she mumbled. Harper stocked over to the proper side and began tying the rope in the knot Jack had taught her the previous evening. "Left is left. Right is right. How hard is that?"

Jack peered over her shoulder as she finished the bowline perfectly. His warm arms wrapped around her small frame. "Good job." His chin rested on her shoulder as he gave her a gentle squeeze. "You're doing great. Just hang in there. Sailing takes a lot of practice. "

Harper knew he was right. She just wasn't used to being so inept at something. She turned around to face him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Yeah, yeah. On the brightside if you need a knot tied," she smiled sarcastically. "I'm your girl." She gasped in surprise and planted her hands on his chest with voracity. "I know what will make me feel better."

"Oh? What's that?"

"A little later," her hands slid down his chest to his sides where her fingers lightly danced up and down them. "When we've left port…"

Jack's eyebrows raised, "Mm-hm…."

"You can let me drive." She chuckled lightly as his expression dropped.

"A few things, first, you're a tease." Her body shook from laughter under his. "Second, it's steer. And last, but certainly not least, not going to happen."

Harper opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted before she could continue their banter.

"Jack McCoy."

Jack smiled at the surprise visitor. "Carter." The men stretched to shake hands. They exchanged pleasantries of how do you do and what not. The man's small, thin frame was dressed in casual weekend clothing and though she was sure he and Jack were close in age, he seemed much older to her.

"Carter, this is my friend Harper Van Meter. Harper this is Carter Newton." Knowing her short arms couldn't make the reach Harper simply smiled and waved. Carter returned with a friendly, knowing smile. "Carter and I go way back." Jack lightly touched the small of her back to usher her into the conversation. The ease with which he'd introduced her to his friend calmed any nerves she'd started to feel.

"What he means is, I know where all the bodies are buried." They all laughed easily. "It's been a while since we've seen you out here Jack. I was considering not voting for you just so you'd have some free time," then he directed his comments towards Harper, "but I thought, nah, Jack wouldn't be Jack if he wasn't trudging away in that office fighting for truth and justice, and all that other stuff."

Harper smiled up at Jack, who grinned and shuffled his feet. "You'll have to excuse Carter. He thinks he's charming."

Carter shot Jack a sideways glare before focusing his attention on Harper. "Are you two out for the weekend? Are you staying in port or do you have a destination in mind?"

Harper, unsure how to answer, looked to Jack. "Um.. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm not allowed to steer." She lightly poked Jack in the stomach. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Carter pondered. "Block Island is always nice this time of year. Lot's to see on the island itself. Good fishing off the coast, especially when it's this hot. The Blues are really biting from what I hear."

"Well OK, we'll take that under consideration, Carter. Thank you." Harper smiled, deciding she liked Carter Newton. She hadn't met many of Jack's friends, but she hoped to see more of this one.

"Well, I'd better get back. Christine will think I've fallen in somewhere." Jack reached back across the ledge to shake Carter's hand. "And Jack," Carter lowered his voice, "Chris ran into Meredith a few rows over." He glanced at Harper who'd moved a few steps away. "Just a heads up."

"It was good seeing you, Carter. Give Christine my love."

"Harper," Carter shouted after her, "it was nice to meet you."

"You too, Carter."

"Let's all have dinner soon, OK? And don't let Jack bully you," he said pointing and accusing finger at Jack. "I think you could definitely handle the helm." He winked, sealing the deal that Harper liked him.

"Thank you, Carter. Thank you very much." She smiled at Jack smugly. Her curiosity was also peaked as to who this Meredith was. She wanted to ask, but thought better of it at least just yet.

As they went about their duties to prepare to set sail Jack noticed a sly grin affixed to Harper's face. She shook her head slightly, obviously amused by her inner dialog. Her smile was enough to make the dimple on her right cheek present itself. He was a sucker for dimples ever since he was a kid. Maggie Callahan, a triple threat: dimples, freckles, and braids. No boy on the block stood a chance.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh nothing," she shrugged. Of course, the ring of her tone and widening grin suggested otherwise. Jack grunted a skeptical response. They continued to work in silence, both with questions on their mind. Sometimes Harper wished Jack pried more. She knew he wanted to know what she was thinking, but he was content not to probe despite himself. She suspected it had something to do with his own quietude. "You, New Yorkers just kill me, even after 13 years…" she decided to volunteer.

"Oh really? How's that?" He smiled with delight while never letting his attention leave the rope in his capable hands.

"Anything over mid-80's and you people think you're going to melt." She finished up and moved to his side, watching his handiwork. "You know, where I'm from it's a good day if stays below 98."

Jack chuckled. "All the more reason to stay away." Pangs of guilt hit him as soon as he said it.

"Oh really?" Flashes of anger already marred Harper's brown eyes. She moved from his side putting a couple of more feet between them.

"It was a joke, Harper." Not a complete lie, he told himself. Though the weather was the least of his worries where that topic was concerned. She shoved her hands into the pockets of her khaki chino shorts and nodded derisively. Jack sighed. The last thing he wanted was to start this trip out with a fight. "We'd better get going if we want to make it to Block Island before dark." His voice quiet, resigned to her irritation. He headed toward the helm to begin their journey.

Harper followed. She wanted to lay into him, she wanted to cry. His flippant remark, though in jest, was laced with candor and _that_ hurt her feelings. Which in turn, pissed her off. "You know, Jack for some crazy reason I actually want you to meet my family and friends." She felt the heat flare up from her cheeks, knowing they had gone red long ago.

"Harper…."

His dismissive tone angered her even more. "Who's Meredith?" Her vision blurred with adrenaline as the words left her mouth. She knew it was childish to pick the fight, but the possibly taboo topic was too tempting. "I think it's a valid question. Carter obviously thought it was important enough to mention. Who is she? A former colleague? An ex-girlfriend? Someone you prosecuted? Who?!" She held her hands up in the air and shrugged.

Jack watched Harper's tirade quietly. She gestured flamboyantly as she used her hands to talk. He'd noticed this trait of her's early on and often wondered if she'd be able to talk if her hands were tied behind her back. The faster her words flew at him the more her voice possessed the slightest hint of her Texas drawl. He waited a few seconds after she'd finally quieted, "Are you done?"

Harper took a deep breath and felt the cool sea air on her hot cheeks. She knew she'd said enough. Amazingly Jack didn't look angry or miffed, he was just patiently waiting out her fit. He walked to her side in his quiet way, leaned against the side of the boat and took her hands in his. "I'm sorry. I know it's important to you and I do want to meet your family. I'm just not sure that this is the best time." Harper started to interject. "But I'm going to try and make it happen, OK? We'll just have to wait and see."

She'd overreacted, she knew that. She was being placated, she knew that too. She also knew that she didn't want to start the weekend off like this. Harper took a couple of steadying breaths as she pulled her hands from his and folded them across her chest, "Who's Meredith?" Her expression didn't change, her tone stayed even. She didn't really care who this Meredith was, not really. She just wanted to know that he'd tell her. After six months she could site his morning routine like the back of her hand, but the majority of his past still eluded her. His reticent nature was something she admired, but at the same time struggled to accept.

Jack sighed, wishing there was a way to avoid this, but knowing there wasn't. "She's my ex-wife."

The words stunned her. She'd expected the mystery woman was an ex just not an ex-_wife_. "Mrs. McCoy Number 2?" she asked. Each word, full of realization, left her mouth slowly. Though she hadn't met Ellen, the first Mrs. McCoy, she had been able to pry a bit about her out of Jack. Mainly because she was Rebecca's mother and a quasi-scandal had irrupted several weeks ago over her former household help.

Jack merely nodded. He watched Harper carefully, trying to gauge her reaction. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel any sort of jealously towards Meredith. He hoped to get through this conversation with as few words as possible. The past, regardless what part of it, has never been his favorite topic. On a normal day he'd avoid the topic of his ex-wife at any cost, but today especially. Things were on shaky ground as it were after his remark about their possibly upcoming Texas visit. How this conversation went could seal the deal on how the entire weekend went.

The color left her cheeks as a strange calm washed over Harper. She quietly thought about the chances of running into one's ex-wife at a marina in Oyster Bay. Probably greater than the possibility of running into one's ex-husband in a city of 8 million. "Did you bring her here?" She motioned ever so lightly to the boat with her small hands. "When you were married, I mean."

The corner of her mouth turned up in a slight grin that did nothing to calm the discomfort Jack felt. Again he nodded, "We used to spend a lot of weekends here." She nodded slowly as she processed the new information. There was no trace of anger or resentment in her voice, just impassivity. Not even her color offered a clue as to what she was thinking.

"With Carter? And his wife?"

"Sometimes." She nodded. Her cheeks suddenly flushed a few shades darker finally revealing some hint of emotion.

Her jealousy was irrational. She knew Jack had been married long before they ever began a relationship. She knew he'd had plenty of lovers in his past and the reputation to go with them. Oddly enough, it wasn't the idea of Jack with another woman that brought about her envy. It was the notion of him and her laughing, conversing easily with his friends that wounded her most. She suddenly felt very unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

Jack continued to watch her. She studied her fidgeting hands aimlessly. The roses in her cheeks subsided some as she continued to ponder. Without warning Harper looked at him as if she'd suddenly remembered she was in the middle of a conversation.

"How long were you and Meredith married?"

Jack reached for her hands. Thankfully, she didn't try to rebuff his gesture. They were ice cold. He pressed them together and rubbed swiftly to warm them. "Let's not do this now." He adjusted his grip their fingers interlaced. "We've got a wonderful weekend ahead of us. We should get started." His sincerity did nothing to penetrate her state. And for a moment Jack wasn't even sure she'd heard him. She stared blankly at him, unrelenting. "A little over four years."

"What happened? Why'd you divorce?"

Jack sighed and shook his head, trying to find the words. Still resistant to the conversation's topic. "I like to say that it was because I worked too much," he shrugged. "But honestly, we never should have gotten married to begin with."

"Why?" Harper asked with a furrowed brow.

"Meredith and I met as I was coming out of a very bad time in my life. A few years before I," Jack paused and swallowed hard, "I'd lost someone I was very close to and for the first time since then I was happy."

Harper stepped closer to him. Pulling one of his arms around her, she leaned into his warm body. She held his other hand in both of hers, it's size dwarfed them. Her heart ached. She knew this was difficult for him, but she needed it… _they_ needed it.

"I was still mourning. Eventually, she figured that out and… It wasn't fair to her. By the time I began emotionally available she was so full of resentment that we could barely be in the same room together. Needless to say, the divorce was pretty acrimonious."

Harper waited a few seconds to be certain Jack was done. She studied his memory weary face. "Thank you."

He nodded. "I don't intentionally shut you out, Harper. It's just that I've been this way for a very long time." He smiled. His fingers traced the line of her jaw. His thumb and index finger tugged at her chin tenderly. "And you know what they say about old dogs."

"They're stubborn?" Harper chuckled.

"You know, young dogs can be stubborn, too." He smiled with faux skepticism.

Her smile morphed to a playful frown. "Did you just call me a dog?" Just as quickly the frown morphed back to a smile. Jack pulled her into him even more and he planted light kisses on her head. His scent enveloped her, causing the ache in her heart to swell. She tried to push the ache away. Leery of what it might portend.

"Ready to go?" She smiled and nodded. He released her from their embrace and she silently moved to a spot on the deck far from the helm. Jack studied Harper as they sailed away from the docks and though her smile was present, it wasn't quite it's normal self. His stomach knotted and the foreboding feeling he'd felt the morning after they'd first made love engulfed him. He hoped he was wrong, but he got the feeling this trip might be the beginning of the end for him and Harper.

* * *

**A/N: Just wanted to say thank you to everyone for reading and commenting. It means the world to me! Unfortunately I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again. I've got some family things going on and I'm not sure I'll have the time and, most of all, energy to write for awhile. I might be wrong. Maybe it will contiue to be the calming refuge I'm sure I'm going to need in the coming weeks. Either way I'm not sure when the next update will be, but I'm not done with this story. So don't give up on me!! Thanks again, and if I could impose on you, your positive thoughts and prayers for me and mine would be greatly appreciated. Don't want to bore you with details, just going through a rough time. XXOO**


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